It's strange really, how we as humans tend to think
we control our lives. In some ways, some very small ways, we do. Then suddenly lifes events take a turn on us,
that we neither wanted nor expected. It is during these times, that we realize how incredibly fragile life truly is and
how little control we really do have over it. Hopefully, most of you have never and never will have to face the kind of turn
in life that we have. I'm sure there are some of you who have, and some who have faced more difficult events. To all of
you, our hearts are with you.
On July 9th, 2007 life as I knew it was forever altered.
I, however, wasn't aware of this until nearly 5 weeks later. The first 3 weeks I was in an induced coma, that
was vital to my recovery. For the next two weeks, I was in such a fog as a result of the coma, that I was clueless as to what
was going on or why. Although my wife and mother, along with a multitude of medical personnel told me as gently as possible
time and time again when I asked, I was not able to retain the information. I am told that during this time, I asked over
and over for my eyeglasses. It was as if I didn't realize I was blind, even though I was in total darkness. I just assumed
that if I could find my glasses and put them on, I would be able to see. It was heartbreaking to my loved ones, having to
explain it all to me over and over again. But they did so, ever so gently. How they prayed and hoped for my vision to be restored,
if only some light perception.
I began to notice all of the tubes and needles and wires attached to my body. In
my confusion I tried endlessly to remove them all. I attempted to climb out of bed, only to find I wasn't able to. Again,
I questioned all of this over and over and it was explained to me over and over. Finally, by the end of week five I was
beginning to retain the information. The fog was lifting, and reality was setting in. Knowing the miracle it was, that I had
even survived, I continued to pray for just one more miracle. My vision. For nearly 3 months, I remained in good spirits,
and highly optimistic that my sight would return. There were several brief moments, that I was certain I was in fact "seeing"
things. To my dismay, it was my brain playing tricks on me. (Much like when an amputee feels pain in the missing limb.)
I am not quite as happy go lucky as I was early on, but I try to be, and I continue to pray for my vision to be restored.
Only now, I am at the mercy of science to make this possible, rather than hoping and praying my eyes will just heal.
In October, 2007 I had to have surgery to have my eyes removed. Its such a difficult life being in total darkness every
moment. Not to mention the pain I suffer from the multitude of other injuries I received. I have had 14 surgeries & am
still in physical therapy. I am trying now to learn how to live and function in a sightless world, after 44 years of
being sighted.
